Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
