I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
