i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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