Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
