You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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