did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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