Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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