Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
