As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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