it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
