I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
