That's intense
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You left your phone here
Wait...
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