ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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