ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
