Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
