I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
