Acid is not a monday night drug
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
