apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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