I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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