I wanna bring you to show and tell
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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