i was born a porn star she said
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
