Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
are you so shy because you have an std?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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