her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
