It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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