my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
