She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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