dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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