The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
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