did you get engaged???
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
