for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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