i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
