Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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