I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
