if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
How external is "for external use only"?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
