When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
two words...techno handjob
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
