had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
