I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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