Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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