So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
