I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
