You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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