4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
