I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
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