Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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