is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
