I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
