This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
