glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
