There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
