I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
