Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
