oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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