sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Actions speak louder than pants.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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